She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Randomize
