Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Come on in and take your pants off
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