She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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