I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I want to be your penis for a week.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
