he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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