you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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