I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
