Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
