The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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