He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
