your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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