I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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