i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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