I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize
