It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
