i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
