He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
