how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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