I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
now i know why i became what i already was.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
