im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
The power of my boobs compel you
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
