im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
