I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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