I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
