No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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