then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
