Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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