I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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