i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
