I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Randomize
