I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
