God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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