we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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