he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Randomize
