You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Randomize
