my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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