it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
