I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
this is an emotional support booty call
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Two words: nipple clamps
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