This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
