party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I think my vagina is haunted
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
