so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
