yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
where are you?
Hypothermia
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
