I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
ok first of all what the fuck
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
