I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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