That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
