Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Sext me about skeletons
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
