you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
