the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
