I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
