Don't make out with my wife yet
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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