So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
