My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
