I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Tell her she can't have a vagina
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
