I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
operation harelip BJ is a go
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
