problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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