u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
